Monday, October 13, 2008

The only thing you have to fear is fear it’s self…and spiders


And snakes, I really hate snakes. That’s what I fear spiders and snakes, keep them away from me and I’ll be fine. If only it were that easy! But this week's Spin Cycle deserves so much more...

My biggest fear is mediocrity. I fear not having the ability to give my daughter (and future children) what I think she (they) deserves. Now I do realize that life’s focus should not be all about money. But, damn it, let’s face it…having money allows you to focus on more rewarding things. I fear that my husband and I will never get out of this hole, that we’re in a quick sand of debt and bills (and fixing this effing house, which of course = debt and bills).

I really don’t want you guys to think that I’m an “all about the money” kind of girl. I want to be able to pay for weddings and first cars. (My mom actually took the $1,000 I saved to put down on my first car because she had to buy herself a car—and didn’t have the money herself). Do you see where my fear started. My husband and I feel it’s very important to teach our kids to work for what they want. So don’t think we’re going to raise spoiled brats. I just have the fear that we won’t have it all together when they need us. I don’t even know completely what that statement means. Maybe that’s why it scares me so much.

I want to be financially stable so that I can be there for my kids, so they can focus on more important and rewarding things. I guess that’s what it boils down to is that I want to be secure in my life (in every way) so that my kids can be rock solid in theirs. It’s just so frustrating and scary to know how to get to “secure”.

**Argh..It’s so hard to describe this fear, because I’m not sure I completely understand it myself. So I hope I didn’t leave you guys thinking “What the hell is she talking about???” Maybe I should have just left it at spiders and snakes.

10 comments:

Sprite's Keeper said...

Katie, I completely understand. My parents were the same way. They used to worry that finances wouldn't be there for the things we wanted or needed. Somehow, things always worked out. Clothes, books, first cars, paying for weddings, these are all things I think about with Sprite. I want to be able to help her if she needs it financially. I want another baby, but John is all about the money. Will we have the money to cover two kids? SHould we stay with just one and be able to give her everything she needs or have another and maybe have to cut some corners and live more frugally? It's a hard line to walk as a parent. And most of us are right there toeing the line with you. Wonderful spin. You're linked!

DeeMarie said...

Great spin! I was totally going to use that line as my title too... even with the spider part!! Ok, so not with the spiders, but I totally agree. I doubt anyone ever thinks they have it "together enough" for their kids, but as long as you love, the rest will work out. :)

HeatherPride said...

I get it, completely. Even though my husband and I already have so much more than our parents ever had, we still stress about money. So maybe that money stress doesn't ever go away? I don't know. I know what you mean, though. I want to be able to PROVIDE, even though when I think about my own childhood, I know my parents provided everything for me, because it all boils down to their love and devotion - and they had that in spades. Material stuff? Notsomuch. It all worked out though.

Casey said...

Great spin! My parents didn't have money and we worked for everything we had. I bought my first car, paid for my clothes from 16 on and worked my way through college. Because of it, I'm a much stronger person so I'm glad we didn't have money. I think you're doing a great job with your daughter and I know she'll turn out great!

Supervised Mama said...

You ladies are really great I really appreciate the support from all of you, it means a lot!! Thanks!

steenky bee said...

I totally feel the same with you here. I don't need to have a ton of money, just enough to be comfortable and not stress about how my children will attend college or have braces. I want them to have what they need, but not in excess. I think that's the beautiful part of the human spirit to want to pass on the better things to their children. BTW: I guess you already saw that I answered the meme. Thanks again for stopping by. I always get a kick out of the picture of you and your daughter on your avatar. You both look so cute!

mrsbear said...

It makes perfect sense. I think anyone that's struggled with money can relate, especially when it comes to providing for our children. You did a fine job explaining it, good spin.

Elle Charlie said...

I think what you're saying makes tons of sense, it's more complicated than snakes and spiders but most major fears are. I think the fact that you know you want stability means you'll get there eventually. It's hard now, with the economy in the toilet. Money is at the root of a lot of people's fears, just because it represents so many things to so many people: security, peace of mind, opportunity, enjoyment in life. Money is never just about money - it's always about what you want from life, and that's HUGE.

Miss Jack said...

I'm with you on this one. My DH and I have the exact same fear. We want to have another child (making it our third) but we also still want and need for our first two who are only 3 1/2 and 2. Both our parents have always provided for us generously putting their needs after ours. We just want to do the same for our kids. I think any good parent would. Great spin.

Sammanthia said...

It makes perfect sense... I grew up in Poor and it's not somewhere I ever wanna go back to. I budget every penny and worry about it all, and with 3 kids and one income it's hard sometimes. But we manage, we always do, and you will to!